In gross product introductions this week, ranch dressing soda was brought to the masses in a bid, we imagine, to make America collectively throw up in its mouth a little bit.
The idea of ranch dressing soda is one of those concepts that just isn’t palatable from any angle. Sure, Elvis’ peanut butter, banana, and bacon habit was odd news for a long time until America came to worship at the altar of bacon and began mixing it with everything from ice cream sundaes to chocolate and cupcakes.
And ranch dressing soda does not sound so bad when we consider too that the Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe was announced not too long ago and even stoners said, “are you really gonna eat that?”
Anyway, America, I feel it’s time we had a sit-down talk or intervention, and that ranch dressing soda is the breaking point. Is there anything redeeming about the new Rocket Fizz flavor from Lester’s Fixins?
HuffPo was brave enough to force ask not one, but several of their writers to sample the new beverage, and people were pleasantly … horrified.
Not a one seemed to dig on ranch dressing soda, alas, but the reviews are funny. One HuffPo staffer said:
“You know, there is almost nothing I won’t eat, but the smell of this alone made my eyes water. The taste isn’t the problem, it just tastes like sugar soda. The problem is the lactic, blue-cheesy, synthetic aroma that enters your soft palate and nose as you swallow. Just thinking about it is giving me the shivers.”
“I mean, why not mess with buttermilk powder and garlic extract before you turn to some weird synthetic chemical? This tastes like you soaked blue cheese in sunscreen in a plastic tub on a hot day, and then forced it through a seltzer siphon.”
Interesting in buying ranch dressing soda? The Lester’s Fixins site has more information on where to buy their assortment of Rocket Fizz drinks.