Colorado is home to the highest number of Google searches for Halloween treats, according to NBC's Today; fortunately, the Centennial State has plenty of places to get our sugar rush. And we just acquired one more: A second Rocket Fizz Soda Pop & Candy Shop (the original is at 1512 Larimer Street) has opened at 9567 South University Boulevard C-1 in Highlands Ranch.
As you walk through the doors, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, is there to greet you in life-sized cardboard-cutout form. Yes, the hottest woman ever on the earth (and a creation of Colorado Springs's Cassandra Peterson) is there to hand out baskets that customers can fill with awesome creepy treats for October 31 -- or anytime, really.
Halloween will definitely be enhanced by caramel apple Sugar Babies, pumpkin-flavored gumballs and, of course, Hello Kitty "spooky" hot chocolate powder in a collectable tin. I inspected the ingredients of this chocolate powder so that I could get a grip on what makes this mix spooky -- or at least spookier than other kinds of hot chocolate mix -- and my conclusive opinion is nothing, really, except for the cool tin.
Sour apple-flavored brain pops -- a Halloween season must-have for unwrapping, dipping in raspberry jam (for that nasty, bloody bwains effect) and passing out to party guests. No double-dipping, though -- that's just gross.
I absolutely adore the bathtub 'o candy at Rocket Fizz: so many cheap, mix-and-match choices that are perfect for giving out to lucky kids who hit your house for candy-begging, and just as perfect for creating an awesome "leftover" candy dish for the kitchen table. The best item? Those little pink strawberry candies with the gooey centers and the shiny strawberry wrappers.
Sure, there are treats at Rocket Fizz, but the tricks are just as neato -- check out these tiny rubber chickens. What kid wouldn't want to find a few of these at the bottom of his treat bag? Only the snotty, annoying kids who deserve to get Halloween bags filled with Tootsie Rolls and Sweet Tarts.
On first glance, these Fugu candy mints look insanely cool -- candy made with poisonous Japanese fish? But unfortunately, I discovered the candies are not actually fish-flavored, contain no actual poison, and aren't even shaped like fish. These would make a good "awesome public letdown" gifts for foodie adults with high expectations.
Crows are black licorice-flavored Dots: the absolute worst candy ever created and marketed to the public. They make adults gag and children cry.
What every kid wants for Halloween is a creepy-ass candy bag like this one. The only trick-or-treat bag creepier than this would have a picture of Chevy Chase on it.
If you want to emotionally damage every kid in your trick-or-treat neighborhood radius, pick up a case of these Picnic bars. The innocent, trusting children will open them, go in for first bites, and get the most unwelcomed surprise of their lives: raisins. These candy bars have f*cking raisins in them. Things that contain raisins when they're not supposed to is the reason people develop serious trust issues.
Caramel apple-flavored popcorn balls shaped like ears of corn: my vote for the weirdest combination of concepts.
If you -- or someone you know -- is that f*cknuckle who gives out mini toothbrushes and sample-sized tubes of toothpaste to make some social statement about the dental industry on the candiest night of the year, then this cupcake-flavored toothpaste might be a good alternative. And it also might keep your house from being Charmin-ated after you go to bed.
Those crazy cats at Hotlix have been squicking people out with edible bug candies for years, but giving these out to friends and strangers and watching them make barf noises never gets old. The little boxes contain two crickets and two worms -- each dipped in white or milk chocolate to enhance the sweet-sweet flavor of bugs.